I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
How does one acquire holy water?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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