How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
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The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
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Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?