I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch