No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS