don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought