god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
