is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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