Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
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