Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Your penis caused this!
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
