yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love