Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
i've created a new STD.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.