He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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