he wants to bone in the snuggie
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
