If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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