How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
