Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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