and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
