he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
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I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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