Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
