Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
