I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
