Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
