Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
