Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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