this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
