you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
