At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
