is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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