isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Randomize
