wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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