so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You can't just leave with hair like that
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
