Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
