my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
