So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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