I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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