i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
