I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
