Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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