but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
