She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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