i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
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