Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
