Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
