I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
