Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
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