1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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