Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
