watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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