He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
