I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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