i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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