i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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