So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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