i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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