super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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