I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize
