Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
