found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
