I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
vagina is talking i cant
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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