Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
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