I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
no you cant smoke seaweed
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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