We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
