She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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