yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.