She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
High School Students Hilariously Rank Celebrities By Their Stank For Class Project
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
15 Things You Truly Understand If You Sleep Next To Someone Who Snores Like A Rhinoceros Every Night
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!