Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.