Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots