last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
