He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
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