Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
