I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
