But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
