I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
