i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
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Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
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It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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