Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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