i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
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